Player:Tamorlane
With notoriously low tolerance for morons, and a very wide ranging definition of what qualifies someone to be a moron, Tamtam strives to represent all that is wondrous about the illustrious JerkSquad. Sort of.
Former Co-mayor of Arcadia Bay(JKH), founder of Fort Arcadia (JKH)
Founder and Mayor of OTH (JKH)
Warchief of Fomorach (FI), Commandant of Parris Island (FI)
[09:04:11] You have just received the title 'The Tin King'!
[00:20:26] You are dead.
[00:21:41] You are dead.
[01:01:04] You are awesome.
Blacksmith, Carpenter, Chainsmith, Mercenary, Mason, Smith, Renowned Blacksmith, Digger, Repairman, Fletcher, Renowned Chainsmith, Excavator, Dragonslayer, Renowned Carpenter, Potter, Giantslayer, Lumberjack, Prime Minester, Soldier, Miner, Handyman, Trollslayer, Goldmonger, etc.
Via his personal Army of Alts:
Skenderbeu - Enlightened baby. 98 Faith Vynoran Priest (all of it the old fashioned way); Conduit, Padre, Channeler, Farmer, Ropemaker, Gardener, Devout, Reverent, Crofter, Handyman, Trollslayer, Rope for Help (Seriously that is a dumb title), Casting Specialist, Caterer, Drover, Master Farmer, and so on.
Momarr - Master Tanner, Nothing else ya'll need to know about, move along.
Tamorline and Tamorlost - The Tamor Twins serve no rational purpose whatsoever.
There are a few more Tamoralts out there. Try to catch them all!
Blah, blah, blah. Still a grumpy old man.
Tamorlane routinely and randomly gives away expensive, high ql, high enchanted items for no real reason whatsoever. Here's a tip: If he gives you something for free, don't complain about it, don't ask him to make it something else, and don't whine like a pansy if you weren't the one who got it.
Here's another tip: If he is willing to sell you something for a silly, way-below-market price, don't ask him to deliver it to you at the other end of the map.
Tam is an avid collector of 'stuff'. Odd tools and weapons, rare armor and artifacts, shiny gems and pumpkins. And gold coins. They are purdy, and we likes them. A lot.
Famous Quotes:
"Camp fires really ought to burn longer. I had to make 24 of them just to get this stew to hot." (Tam's First Wurmday)
"I shall now dedicate the rest of my retirement to the sole act of hunting down Tonygreen and stabbing him in the face. I will miss seeing my kids." (JKH Raiding Opened)
"Just for the record, cat does NOT taste like chicken."
"If there was a special continent, hosting a special nation, full of special people, who's only contribution to the human race and the world at large was the proliferation of absolutely stupid and ridiculously inane conversation, you, Sir, would be the Emperor." (KChat)
"The Marine Corps did not train me to be nice. If I am being nice to you, you are probably already dead."
"I don't play games to make money. I make money so I can play games."
"Probably 90% of the Wurm player base wouldn't muddy their feet in the forum or in kchat if you paid them. They get enough of semi-literate, wiki-educated, self-absorbed attention whores with an overinflated sense of relevance in real life."
"Everytime I get sucked into some uninformed juvenile debate on the forum, it takes a week to get the taste of stupid out of my mouth."
(When surevying a ransacked village) "Ok, so your mayor doesn't understand that you have to lock things. I recommend that you take it into your own hands and try /vote."
And stop making fun of Miss Ick already. She is very sensitive.
"I is sensitive"
A Commentary on "Sandboxes"
Players like to extol the 'sandbox' nature of the game, most specifically in the debate between the pve and pvp factions, but in other areas as well (breeders vs. hunters, veterans vs. starters, nomads vs. landhoggers, etc) and yet seemingly miss the meaning of 'sandbox' as it relates to games altogether. Sandbox means creating a quasi-unbounded stage for players to create a game experience within various preset limitations. Those limitations are imposed by the developer at their discretion, because it's their sandbox to begin with. It has never meant 'we can do whatever we want'.
While I may personally think it is silly to attempt to correlate all aspects of an online ‘game’ to real life situations, perhaps it may be useful for all of us to think about a sandbox for a moment. In almost every case, a sandbox is a construct with specific spatial limits. It may be a square box built from boards, or a circle formed out of an old tire or plastic. Maybe it’s a rectangle. Maybe even an oval or some other shape. But in every SINGLE instance they will share one specific thing – boundaries. The sand is placed INSIDE the boundaries that the creator of the sand box has established. The creator of that sandbox also imposes other specific limitations on the ‘play experience’ inside the sandbox. The depth of the sand for example, or who is allowed to use the sandbox at specific times, or even what specific toys you are allowed to bring inside it. No sandbox anywhere is intended to be a ‘free for all’. The creator sets boundaries, limitations, and even rules that control the play experience. Throw sand, you are out of the sandbox. Abuse the limits of the sandbox, you are out of the sandbox. Use the sandbox for anything that the creator did not intend it for (such as changing the oil in your car, televised wrestling matches, making a nuclear missile silo, or breeding ant lions) and the creator will in all probability bar you from using his sandbox in the future. Because it is not YOUR sandbox. It is his.
Sometimes people find ways to use the sandbox that may not have been intended by the creator, but are fun and contribute to the experience of other players. The creator may then add a new rule, or remove an outdated one, to encourage this new play style. Or he may decide not to, as it inevitably leads to users of his sandbox thinking they are somehow in control of it. Sometimes a group of kids in the sandbox may determine that they don’t like how some other kid is using the sandbox, and they will try to make him leave or change what he is doing, even if what he is doing is in conformance with the sandbox creator’s guidelines. Or maybe one kid is having a ‘not enough hugs’ type day and decides to rampage through the sandbox kicking over castles and mountains and the like.
If you want someone to play sandbox sheriff 24/7 then you need to decide what you are willing to give up in exchange. Add in-game functional controls that prohibit very specific actions in very specific places under very specific circumstances? That’s what we call a ‘scripted linear experience’. Hire thousands of non-player moderators who have no understanding of the community element in Wurm to arbitrate player relations? That’s what we call a ‘referee managed experience’. Eliminate all forms of in game player interaction? That’s what we call a ‘single player game’. Give every player 90 skill across the board and 90 ql tools for completing the tutorial? That’s a ‘single player game’ in ‘god mode’. In every case you end up eliminating the very freedom of action that is apparently so important to the game. And so we end up with something that is very NOT Wurm at all.
As it is there are rules. And there are guidelines. And there are rules for interpreting guidelines. And rules for acting on the rules for interpreting the guidelines. And then there is a small group of volunteers who try to do their best to interpret player intent in a variety of situations, figure out if a specific rule or guideline has been or is being violated, and then determine exactly what should be done to mitigate the event. As players you need to remember a very simple rule – online games survive and thrive based on the number of retained players. So a moderators ‘prime directive’ is to keep players in the game first and foremost. This requires a complicated process of educating and admonishing and tolerating and warning and mentoring. And yes, in some cases when all of that fails, removing a player or players from the game altogether. But it is not a process that is undertaken lightly, or without consensus and often heated debate. It requires an intellect that is capable of being objective and subjective at the same time, because no matter what resolution is employed, someone in the game world will find it flawed. And then we get 20 pages of forum qq filled with simplistic definitions of justice and the offensive stench of player entitlement.
The measure of success to the developer of any intellectual property is not and should not be explicitly linked to the desires of any one small sub set of users. I say that as someone that actually owns a software company. There are 3000 +/- premium subscriptions at the moment, less than 100 IRC users at any given time, and at best 30 or 40 players who actively post on the forums relative to game updates. For either of those two fractional minorities to assume they speak for the majority of players is absurd. And yet often they do.
If you play this game for the ‘freedom’ represented by a vastly unrestricted game play experience, then you have to take some responsibility upon yourself to survive it. As a game and as a moderation team, we are evolving. Not all changes are going to be seen as good, but the goal is to reach a point where the most people are satisfied the majority of the time. Imagine being forced to make soup that includes several million individual ingredients and NOT having it taste like crap. It’s a pretty tall order.
If you don't get it, you probably should turn off your intertrons.
